It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these, so let’s have a little refresher.

When my niece was born, I decided that I wanted to do something original, creative, and personal for her each year for Christmas. Since she was living overseas, and I knew I might only get to see her (and therefore to share a book with her) a few times a year at best, I struck on the idea of doing an audio CD of me reading some of my favorite children’s stories to her. Thus: Storytime.

In 2006, for my third CD, I had a couple realizations—first, that there are only so many kids books I consider “favorites”, and second, that my niece, being a girl, would be more interested in “girl” stories than the “boy” stories I used to read. So, I would have to branch out into unfamiliar, and at times, uncomfortable territory. Case in point, our first track from 2006.

I picked Christmas is Here! (at my wife’s prompting, I’m sure) because it’s a Christmas story, and because girls love Strawberry Shortcake.

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The third and final reading from the 2005 Christmas CD is one of my most favorite stories. As a kid, when I first encountered this story—I think as an “after-school special” type thing, it hit some strong emotional chords with me. I’m not entirely sure why, but I remember this story as the first that actually made me cry. (Old Yeller worked it’s magic on me years later…)

The Velveteen Rabbit is a cute little story about a stuffed, toy rabbit who longs to be “real.” Initially of little interest to his owner, or to the other toys with whom he is thrown together, eventually the rabbit becomes the much-loved favorite of the boy. After the boy contracts an illness which requires the purging of those belongings he keeps closest to him, the rabbit is thrown out of the house, to be incinerated. Filled with love for the boy, and sadness at their separation, the rabbit’s single tear summons the “toy fairy,” who completes his transformation and deposits him in the forest among the other real rabbits.

The 2005 CD may’ve been shorter, but that was ok ’cause it had this story on it. Also, I managed to sneak Spidey into the CD jacket, which was fun.

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Since the object of the project is to make a Christmas present, it’s kind of imperative to include at least a few outright Christmas stories in the mix. And what story (well, secular story, anyway) is more a part of Christmas than the long poem, The Night Before Christmas.

This classic story includes references which modern kids will likely never be exposed to elsewhere—like actual shutters, kerchief and caps as sleepwear, and sugarplums. Of course, this story also is one of the primary introductions for children to Santa’s peculiar attributes, and also has an easy to memorize roster of Santa’s pre-Rudolph reindeer.

There are many stories and songs about Santa and his reindeer, but this is one of the absolute fundamental texts of Santology.

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The 2005 CD wasn’t actually completed until 2006, and only included three books, one of which was the longer but much beloved Velveteen Rabbit. (It is kind of sad when time and timeliness become a factor in the creation of a Christmas present… but it was in this instance. I’ve tried to be better about it since then, to greater and lesser effect.)

The first track I’d like to feature from this CD is the short—but very cute—Guess How Much I Love You, by Sam McBratney and Anita Jeram.

This story documents a peculiar exchange between a narcissistic elder bunny and an insecure but effusive younger bunny who share a vague and unhealthily competitive relationship, and who apparently belong to a cult which has stripped them of their names and only allows them to be referenced by the color of their fur.

As the story progresses, the junior bunny attempts to elucidate the magnitude of his devotion to the elder bunny, but with each new platitude, the elder bunny is compelled to explain that his devotion to the younger bunny is actually the greater. He accomplishes this through various means, including physical feats of strength and simple size-related intimidation techniques. In the end, the elder bunny—not content to allow the youngster even the smallest victory—must get in the last word, even as his companion loses consciousness. One imagines the elder bunny smiling to himself with smug satisfaction, before dropping off to a fitful, horror-filled sleep.

Too much?

[UPDATE: 1 hour after this post launched, I realized I'd neglected to include the audio. Whoops.]

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Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You? is apparently a story about a neurotic and possibly delusional individual who wanders the countryside attempting to communicate by imitating the noises of animals and nature. Or perhaps he’s an amnesiac who has lost the capacity for human language altogether, and who is known as Mr. Brown solely because of the color of his outerwear. In any event, his unfortunate condition provided his psychiatrist—the infamous Dr. Seuss—an excellent opportunity for profit.

The reader is drawn along on the patient’s perambulatory adventure, and is given the opportunity to observe and occasionally participate in a re-enactment of his mad mimicry. Graciously, Mr. Brown’s repertoire of sounds is somewhat limited, and does not venture into the mechanical or electronic, so the book remains relatively short. The book closes with a review section, which one imagines might be an abstract representation of the troubled man’s unconscious mind.

Seriously though, Mr. Brown Can Moo is a great little book that smaller children simply love. It is especially fun when, once they’ve been through the book about 20 times (a day, for six straight months) and know pretty much what to expect, the reader begins to mix up the animals and their sounds. Toddlers love making animal noises, and they squeal with delight (or homicidal rage) when one presents the obviously ludicrous idea that a dog might say “quack.”

This is the last track off the original 2004 Christmas CD. Next week, 2005!

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