The 2005 CD wasn’t actually completed until 2006, and only included three books, one of which was the longer but much beloved Velveteen Rabbit. (It is kind of sad when time and timeliness become a factor in the creation of a Christmas present… but it was in this instance. I’ve tried to be better about it since then, to greater and lesser effect.)

The first track I’d like to feature from this CD is the short—but very cute—Guess How Much I Love You, by Sam McBratney and Anita Jeram.

This story documents a peculiar exchange between a narcissistic elder bunny and an insecure but effusive younger bunny who share a vague and unhealthily competitive relationship, and who apparently belong to a cult which has stripped them of their names and only allows them to be referenced by the color of their fur.

As the story progresses, the junior bunny attempts to elucidate the magnitude of his devotion to the elder bunny, but with each new platitude, the elder bunny is compelled to explain that his devotion to the younger bunny is actually the greater. He accomplishes this through various means, including physical feats of strength and simple size-related intimidation techniques. In the end, the elder bunny—not content to allow the youngster even the smallest victory—must get in the last word, even as his companion loses consciousness. One imagines the elder bunny smiling to himself with smug satisfaction, before dropping off to a fitful, horror-filled sleep.

Too much?

[UPDATE: 1 hour after this post launched, I realized I'd neglected to include the audio. Whoops.]

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Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You? is apparently a story about a neurotic and possibly delusional individual who wanders the countryside attempting to communicate by imitating the noises of animals and nature. Or perhaps he’s an amnesiac who has lost the capacity for human language altogether, and who is known as Mr. Brown solely because of the color of his outerwear. In any event, his unfortunate condition provided his psychiatrist—the infamous Dr. Seuss—an excellent opportunity for profit.

The reader is drawn along on the patient’s perambulatory adventure, and is given the opportunity to observe and occasionally participate in a re-enactment of his mad mimicry. Graciously, Mr. Brown’s repertoire of sounds is somewhat limited, and does not venture into the mechanical or electronic, so the book remains relatively short. The book closes with a review section, which one imagines might be an abstract representation of the troubled man’s unconscious mind.

Seriously though, Mr. Brown Can Moo is a great little book that smaller children simply love. It is especially fun when, once they’ve been through the book about 20 times (a day, for six straight months) and know pretty much what to expect, the reader begins to mix up the animals and their sounds. Toddlers love making animal noises, and they squeal with delight (or homicidal rage) when one presents the obviously ludicrous idea that a dog might say “quack.”

This is the last track off the original 2004 Christmas CD. Next week, 2005!

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I am not certain of the pedigree of the Koan, but am familiar with it primarily as a feature of Zen practice. Essentially, a koan is a word, phrase, anecdote, or story which is intended to illustrate a particular point, or which is intended to, by virtue of it’s profundity or logical disconnection, trigger at least a momentary glimpse of awakening in the student.

Obviously, there is quite a bit of context underlying the above paragraph, which I am not going to get into in this post, but I do encourage you to investigate Zen further if you are so inclined. Zen is a fascinating branch of Buddhism in it’s own right, and is probably one of the more “commonly known” forms here in the States.

What I do want to do here, is feature one of my favorite koans. It takes the form of a story:

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The Tale of Peter Rabbit is one of those classic books that probably every kid has read at some point. It is also a story that has been told and retold in children’s stories, probably since there were stories. It’s the classic tale of the mischievous child—Peter—who, when given clear instruction and a compelling reason to not do something, proceeds to do exactly what he was warned against. As if that weren’t enough, Peter’s total lack of self-control extends to his eating habits, such that, when presented with an abundance of food and no supervision, he eats himself sick. As could be expected, his situation goes from bad to worse, and he ends up naked, wet, cold, and alone, with the hidden enemy lurking somewhere between him and the freedom he seeks, which lies in some unknown direction. Upon finally arriving home, Peter’s only punishment is his own self-inflicted illness, despite his having lost yet another set of clothing, and having obviously been up to no good. As near as I can tell, the moral of this story is that you can be as disobedient and mischievous as you like, as long as you’re smart about it.

This and the final track on the 2004 CD were a bit of a concession, in that this isn’t necessarily one of my favorite stories. I think I felt that three stories wasn’t quite enough, so I picked the last two to fill out the list a bit. I do like this story, however, and there is just something fun about saying “Flopsy, Mopsy.”

Enjoy the reading.

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The third book from the 2004 Christmas CD is the ever popular Green Eggs and Ham—a presumed favorite of the mothers of picky children.

The story involves a gruff, grumpy presumably older person. Set in his ways, and flush with life experience, he knows what he likes, and—more importantly for this story—what he doesn’t like. This gentleman, from the outset of the story is beset by a pestering, annoying interloper who insists on shoving the same plateful of foul looking food in his face for the next several hours (or perhaps days). Despite our protagonist’s gruff—but polite—rebuffs of the pushy peddler, he is continuously harrassed with ham.

In the end, after being stalked, run over by a car, kidnapped against his will onto the roof of a speeding train, and finally crash landed onto a boat which is utterly destroyed, our protagonist gives into the classic “how do you know you don’t like them if you won’t try them” ploy. When he does try them, and realizes that they haven’t gone rancid yet and are actually palatable, he quickly scarfs down the entire plate so that that annoying and mentally unstable Sam character can’t even have a bite. Revenge is a dish best borrowed full and returned empty.

The fun aspect of this recording, which I barely remembered but was pleasantly surprised to rediscover, is that my wife pitched in as the voice of Sam-I-am. Of course, we recorded it together, sharing the same cheap’o microphone, so there are a few instances where you can just about catch us cracking each other up. As with most of this stuff, I cleaned up as much as I could, as I didn’t want extra noises to distract from and possibly muddy the voices. This was a fun read, and I’d love to have done more with Sara, but her schedule, and the fact that I always seem to be recording these at the last possible moments, has since precluded her involvement. More’s the pity.

We hope you enjoy this entertaining and spirited reading of an entertaining and spirited book.

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